Emperor Palpateeny Hands

Unlimited... PUNY power.

When you mix authoritarian cosplay with insecure baby fists, you get this dark-side delicacy. Introducing Emperor Palpatiny Hands — the only galactic overlord who can’t quite reach the launch codes without a stepstool.

Draped in pure paranoia and powered by fragile ego lightning, this tee is perfect for political roastmasters, meme war veterans, and anyone who knows that tiny hands make terrible empires.

Wear it to Thanksgiving. Wear it to rallies. Wear it while crushing juice boxes... with your mind.
Because fascism looks even funnier when the gloves don’t fit.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping

Quality You Can Feel, Statements You Can’t Ignore
All shirts printed on ethically-made Bella+Canvas premium blanks.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size guide